Say This, Not That: Inclusive Language in Reproductive Care

I am a Black woman, a Christian, and an abortion provider. I know how the words we use can either open doors or slam them shut. That’s why I strive to use inclusive language in my speech and writing. I want to include everyone who might need reproductive care to be a part of the conversation, not just those who have been historically centered.

You’ve probably heard the phrases pro-choice or expectant mom. They’ve been used for decades. But these terms can leave people out, particularly transgender and nonbinary people. It could also leave out rape survivors, people without a “birthing plan,” or others whose experience with pregnancy, abortion, or parenting doesn’t follow a traditional narrative.

Precise language respects people’s identities, experiences, and bodily autonomy. When we’re talking about something so personal and political at the same time, our words can mean the difference between life and death.

Here is a list of terms that create inclusive conversations around reproductive care.

Say This / Not That

1. Abortion care / Abortion services or procedure. “Care” reflects the compassionate, patient-centered nature of abortion.
2. Access to abortion / Abortion rights. “Access” focuses on real-world availability, not just legal status. Rights don’t mean much if people can’t exercise them.

3. Anti-abortion / Pro-life. “Pro-life” is a strategic political term that falsely implies opponents are anti-life. “Anti-abortion” more accurately describes the policy position.
4. Birth preferences / Birth plan. “Preferences” allow for flexibility and reduce shame when things don’t go as planned. “Plan” can feel like a test someone failed.
5. Birth parent / Birth mother. Not all people who give birth identify as women. “Birth parent” honors diverse identities.
6. Birthing people / Expectant mothers, moms-to-be, or women in labor. Not everyone who gives birth identifies as a mother or woman. This term includes transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive individuals.
7. Body autonomy / Parental rights (in abortion decisions). Bodily autonomy centers on the pregnant person’s right to control their own medical choices. “Parental rights” can be used to override that in harmful ways.
8. Chestfeeding or lactation / Breastfeeding. Some people prefer terms that don’t reference gendered anatomy. “Chestfeeding” and “lactation” are more inclusive for transgender and nonbinary parents.
9. Client or participant / Patient (in community settings). In reproductive justice work, “client” emphasizes agency and collaboration. “Patient” can reinforce a top-down medical model.
10. Client / Woman. Not every patient identifies as a woman, especially in community health or doula care. “Client” is inclusive and professional.
11. Consent-based care / Routine procedures. No procedure is truly routine without consent. Framing care around consent respects patient autonomy in every encounter.
12. Early pregnancy loss / Miscarriage. “Loss” acknowledges the emotional experience and avoids language that implies blame. “Miscarriage” can feel cold or judgmental.
13. Emergency contraception / Morning-after pill. “Emergency contraception” is more medically accurate and avoids confusion about timing or intent. The term also avoids the stigma often attached to the word “pill.”
14. Menstrual products or period products / Feminine hygiene products. These are used by people of all genders. Removing “feminine” makes the category more accessible.
15. Fertility care / Infertility treatment. “Fertility care” centers on wellness and the full scope of family building. “Infertility” focuses on what’s wrong, often unnecessarily pathologizing patients.
16. Fetal anomaly / Birth defect. “Anomaly” is clinically accurate and neutral. “Defect” implies brokenness or blame.
17. Full-spectrum doula / Birth doula. “Full-spectrum” acknowledges support through all pregnancy outcomes—abortion, miscarriage, birth, and postpartum—not just birth.
18. Gender-affirming care / Trans care or sex change. “Gender-affirming” reflects the holistic, affirming nature of the care being provided. Terms like “sex change” are outdated and often offensive.
19. Gender-expansive people / Transgender or nonbinary people. “Gender-expansive” includes identities beyond binary and transition-focused terms.
20. Inclusive care / Women’s health. Not all people who need reproductive care identify as women. “Inclusive care” reflects the full spectrum of patients.
21. Informed refusal / Noncompliance. When a patient says no to treatment after understanding their options, that’s informed refusal—not misbehavior. “Noncompliance” reinforces power imbalance.
22. Lactation support / Breastfeeding support. “Lactation” is gender-neutral and includes all types of feeding. Not every lactating person uses the term “breast.”
23. Pregnancy care / Maternity care. “Maternity” suggests womanhood and motherhood. “Pregnancy care” focuses on the medical experience, not the assumed identity.
24. Medication abortion / Abortion pill. “Medication abortion” is a clinical term that reduces stigma. “Abortion pill” is vague and often misunderstood.
25. Menstruating people / Women. Not all women menstruate, and not all who menstruate are women. This term is anatomically accurate and inclusive.
26. Nurturing or caregiving / Mothering. Not all parents who provide emotional labor are mothers. “Nurturing” or “caregiving” captures the behavior without assuming gender.
27. Parenting with dignity / Choosing life. “Parenting with dignity” acknowledges the need for support, not just survival. “Choosing life” is a politicized phrase that shames those who don’t carry pregnancies.
28. Patient and infant / Mother and baby. Assuming the identity of “mother” may alienate some patients.
29. Patient-centered care / Provider-directed care. Centering the patient ensures their values guide decisions. “Provider-directed” implies control instead of partnership.
30. Patient’s stated pronouns / She or her. Defaulting to gendered pronouns based on anatomy or charting assumptions erases many people’s identities.
31. People managing loss / Mothers grieving a miscarriage. Inclusive of nonbinary and transgender parents and of all relationships to pregnancy. 
32. People with uteruses / Women (in medical contexts). When discussing anatomy, this term is more precise and inclusive. “Women” alone excludes transgender men and nonbinary people who may need the same care.
33. Perinatal loss / Fetal demise or stillbirth. “Perinatal loss” is broader, compassionate, and less clinical. It allows space for grief and varied experiences.
34. Pregnancy outcome / Birth or abortion. This neutral phrase encompasses all outcomes without assuming the direction or moral value.
35. Pro-abortion / Pro-choice. “Pro-abortion” directly affirms the right to abortion as legitimate health care. “Pro-choice” can feel vague or avoidant in a post-Roe world.
36. Reproductive autonomy / Reproductive freedom. “Autonomy” emphasizes the ability to make medical decisions without coercion. “Freedom” can be too abstract or co-opted by other groups.
37. Reproductive care / Women’s health services. “Reproductive care” better captures the full scope of services, including for those who are not women. It also avoids the outdated “services” language.
38. Reproductive justice / Reproductive health or rights. “Justice” expands the lens beyond clinical care to include economic, racial, and social access. It’s a framework, not just a set of services.
39. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) / Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). “Infections” is more accurate and less stigmatizing than “diseases.” It also recognizes that many STIs are curable or manageable.
40. Six-week abortion ban / Heartbeat bill. The phrase “heartbeat bill” is a political framing. “Six-week ban” accurately reflects the legislative content.
41. Support person / Partner. “Support person” includes chosen family, friends, or community—not just romantic or professional relationships.
42. Trauma-informed care / Standard care. “Trauma-informed” recognizes the impact of past trauma and seeks to prevent re-traumatization. “Standard care” often overlooks this need.
43. Reproductive health / Women’s health. Not all people who need reproductive care identify as women. “Reproductive health” is more precise and inclusive.

Your Language, Your Body

Language is always evolving—especially in reproductive care, where the words we use shape how we picture the issues in our minds. 

I don’t mean for this list to be definitive. It’s a snapshot of many of the inclusive terms I use, grounded in my commitment to approach every patient I serve with respect and dignity.

You won’t always find universal agreement on the “right” words. Context matters. The best language is the kind that opens doors to trust. But I believe deeply in this: you should never have to compromise your values of inclusion to avoid someone else’s discomfort. 

If a patient, colleague, or partner needs a different language to feel safe, we can adjust together. But we don’t defer to outdated norms that erase the people making decisions about their health.