How many times have you heard a politician brag about supporting family values?
This phrase has become the Right’s coded language for a narrow, exclusionary vision of what families should look like. It glorifies the nuclear family, rooted in white Christian ideals, while marginalizing single-parent households, LGBTQ+ families, and anyone who doesn’t fit their mold.
Central to this vision is the assumption that being pro-family means being anti-abortion.
But here’s the truth: conservatives don’t own family values. Their rhetoric often does more to harm families than help them. Also, opposing abortion doesn’t make someone pro-family. Supporting abortion rights, on the other hand, does. Access to abortion care allows people to make decisions that allow their families to thrive—whether it’s about timing, resources, or their own health.
It’s time people reclaim the term to reflect the diversity and humanity of real families everywhere.
Who Gets to Define Family Values?
For decades, conservatives have made “family values” synonymous with the Christian Right agenda: preserving the nuclear family where a breadwinning father, homemaking mother, and obedient children live harmoniously under traditional gender roles.
Embedded in this narrative is a rejection of anything deemed “other”—families led by single parents, same-sex couples, or those who make decisions about reproductive health, including abortion.
This narrow definition of family values was cultivated as a political tool, weaponized to shame and stigmatize those who don’t conform. And in doing so, it aligns deeply with anti-abortion rhetoric, casting abortion as inherently anti-family. The reality, however, is that reproductive rights—especially the ability to access abortion—are essential to building strong families.
Consider the working mother who chooses to delay having another child until she can provide a stable home. Think about a student who terminates a pregnancy to earn an education. Don’t forget the daughters and sisters who suffer illness and even die because they are not able to access abortion care. Supporting family values means protecting daughters, mothers, and sisters—not just fetuses.
These are acts of responsibility rooted in family values. Yet conservatives refuse to acknowledge them. Their definition of family excludes and harms millions.
When the Left Plays by the Right’s Rules
The Left has worked hard to reclaim the rhetoric of “family values,” attempting to redefine it to reflect inclusivity and progressive ideals. Campaign ads now feature not only traditional nuclear families but also strong women, daughters, and, occasionally, LGBTQ+ families.
While the intention is noble—broadening the definition of what family can be—the strategy often feels like playing on the Right’s turf, reinforcing the same scripts that haven’t quite captured diverse family realities.
The trouble with this approach is twofold.
First, it upholds the conservative assumption that a politician’s moral character or leadership abilities should be measured by traditional family structures. Campaign ads featuring adorable children, doting spouses, and picket-fence optics suggest having a family equals credibility, even on the Left. This leaves little room for single, child-free, or nontraditional candidates to emerge.
Second, this strategy risks reducing progressive arguments to counter-narratives rather than revolutionary redefinitions. Instead of challenging the premise that “family values” should dictate political worth, the Left often finds itself competing to appear just as “normal” as its opponents. The Left misses a chance to question why we elevate the nuclear family over other equally valid forms of connection and care.
Family Values vs. Abortion Rights: A False Dichotomy
Our debates are full of black-and-white opposition: pro-choice versus pro-life, bodily autonomy versus fetal personhood, moral versus immoral. These constructs divide us and prevent us from having more nuanced conversations about pregnancy.
Decisions about pregnancy are far more complex and deeply personal. For example, nearly half of all those seeking abortions live below the poverty line. Many wanted to continue their pregnancies but lacked the resources to raise a child.
Historically, the emphasis on fetal rights over the rights of pregnant people has reinforced systemic oppression. Practices like forced pregnancy and births during slavery and beyond prioritized fetal survival at the expense of safety and autonomy. This dark history is intertwined with modern abortion restrictions, which disproportionately affect people of color and low-income families.
What the Family Values Discussion Is Missing
We tap into nostalgia in our politics, imagining a perfect past where healthy households fit the same mold. This backward-looking perspective stokes fear of social decline.
Messages that frame families as “good” or “bad” erases single parents, LGBTQ+ couples, and nontraditional households from the picture. Meanwhile, these disadvantaged families must confront sparse childcare options and unaffordable healthcare. LGBTQ+ families are especially excluded from protection and resources.
What conservatives miss or choose to ignore is that families thrive when given the freedom to make decisions that fit their circumstances.
True family values are expansive, inclusive, and rooted in care—not control. To support families, we must reject narratives that exclude people and fight for policies that meet the needs of all families, not just the ones that fit within the traditions we value.
